By JAMIE GILT Mar. 10, 2016
Hi, all! I’m Jamie Gilt, and if you know anything about me, you know I distrust our oppressive government, I love horses, and I fully encourage everyone to own guns and – moreover – teach their children the proper and safe use of firearms.
There are all kinds of unfair, pernicious myths surrounding guns and gun owners.
Some like to characterize us as smug bullies more obsessed with rubbing our 2nd Amendment rights in the faces of anyone who disagrees with us than we are with the actual safety of innocent people in our own country.
Some say that we self-identify so strongly with gun ownership that we refuse to accept the statistical reality that the United States has the highest rate of firearms-related homicides, suicides, and accidental deaths among all developed First World countries.
Some people think it’s crass and borderline evil to constantly trot out the completely-irrelevant nuance between an “assault rifle” and a “sporting rifle,” rather than address the indisputable fact – like actual adults – that sporting rifles are regularly responsible for the grisliest mass shootings carried out in our country.
Well, you all know me, you know I believe first and foremost in gun safety, which is why I’ve trained my 4 year-old son to be utterly proficient in the use of firearms, something you naysayers would never accept because you insist upon characterizing gun evangelists like myself as at best irresponsible and at worst, callous and self-absorbed.
Well, I’m sitting here in my truck, with my 4 year-old son in the back seat, and I’m here to tell you that OH SHIT! OH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!
HOLY SHITTING FUCK! HOLY SHITTING FUCK THAT HURTS! FUCK THAT HURTS!!! FUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
Oh Christ! Oh sweet Jesus Christ! Oh God! Oh God! Oh, don’t let me die, here! Oh God!
Honey! Oh fucking shitting FUCK, my back! Honey, put mommy’s gun down! Mommy’s not angry… mommy just needs you to put the gun down, she just needs you to put the handgun that she left sitting next to you – loaded – in the back seat down, and not shoot mommy in the GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BACK AGAIN!
Don’t cry… don’t cry, honey. I said don’t CRY! I’M the one who was SHOT!!! What are YOU crying for???
Oh sweet Lord… oh sweet Lord in Heaven… if you see me through this I swear, I swear I will NOT learn a single thing from this experience and I’ll continue to champion unfettered gun ownership throughout the United States like an irresponsible narcissist.
I swear.
Holy SHIT this hurts!
Editor’s Note: Jamie Gilt is an outspoken proponent for gun ownership who was actually, literally shot in the back by her own 4 year-old son. That’s a thing that really happened in the real world. She survived and, to date, has learned nothing from the incident.
Very Real News 